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6、成分多余

According to a comprehensive investigation which is carried out by Chinese Academy of Social Sciences shows that there is an increase in the number of university students who are taking part-time jobs.

该句中的shows that是多余的成分。

7、表意重复

They shocked their friends, devastated their families, crushed their best friends.

前面已经提到了朋友，后面又提到朋友。

The show is so compelling but attractive.

compelling和attractive是同义词，所以这里这么写就让人不明白。

8、例证夸张

For example, when a doctor faces a patient who has got cancer, the doctor cannot tell the truth, for the truth may cause the patient’s immediate death.

虽然善意的谎言是必要的，但是其功效显然没有这么大。

9、词性混乱

However, the questions such as "Have you ever regretted marrying your husband" may be very privacy and embarrassingly.

句子中的privacy和embarrassingly应该改成private和embarrassing。

10、固定用法错误

To some extends, I agree with the author’s general assertion that if parents also have a comprehensive sense of professional knowledge.

To some extends应改为To some extent

延伸阅读：

托福阅读专项训练——长难句（四十三）

托福阅读专项训练——长难句（四十四）

托福阅读专项训练——长难句（四十五）

更多阅读资料：
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